


Archivist Warnings Apply

by IneffableAlien



Series: Awful old eldritch monsters on the internet [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fanfiction, Gen, Jonah Magnus does RPF, Metafiction, Secret Identity, Social Media, how Jonathan Sims the Archivist became an anti
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:54:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAlien/pseuds/IneffableAlien
Summary: Jon Sims is shocked and appalled.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Series: Awful old eldritch monsters on the internet [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010955
Comments: 126
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightmaremagnet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmaremagnet/gifts).



> **This fic takes place before the events of[A Magnus Archive of His Own](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27444988) in the same universe but should be read after it.** They both take place during season 2 :)

from: |  **J. Sims** <josims@the-magnus-institute.org.uk>  
---|---  
to: | Elias Bouchard <elias.bouchard@the-magnus-institute.org.uk>  
date: | 08-08-2016 14:31:57  
subject: | Internet reputation  
body: |   
  
To whom it may concern:

It has recently come to my attention that a user known only as "SecretScotsman1818," of the website called "Archive of Our Own" (located at https://archiveofourown.org/), has been writing fictional accounts of the life and associations of Jonah Magnus.

The user's profile can be found at https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretScotsman1818. **Please be aware before opening that the majority of content contained at that address is grossly obscene in nature.**

It should go without saying that this is highly inappropriate and reflects poorly on the Institute. Please advise as to how I should proceed to address this matter, or if another department shall take it from here.

Regards,

Jon Sims, Head Archivist

\--  
Jonathan Sims | Head Archivist | josims@the-magnus-institute.org.uk  
The Magnus Institute ● London ● SW1W 9TQ  
https://www.the-magnus-institute.org.uk/

_The content of this message is confidential. If you have received it by mistake, please inform us by an email reply and then delete the message. It is forbidden to copy, forward, or in any way reveal the contents of this message to anyone. The integrity and security of this email cannot be guaranteed over the Internet. Therefore, the sender will not be held liable for any damage caused by the message._

* * *

Archivist,

Please do not begin your emails with "to whom it may concern" when you know you are writing to me. I want you to feel comfortable coming to me without the need for such formalities.

I am delighted to hear that our social media outreach campaign has ignited interest in our Founder online!

Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,  
Elias Bouchard

* * *

Elias,  
Please do not begin your emails with "Archivist." I have a name.

That said, I don't want to give the wrong impression: I started my email like that because I intended to Cc HR. There is no way I missed that.

Did you actually even read my email?

Jon Sims

* * *

My apologies, John. You are a valued member of our team and I have nothing but respect for you as an individual.

You were also correct to "call me out" for perusing emails while I work on other things, thus misinterpreting your intent.

Regarding copying HR, it's not as if I have some supernatural ability to interfere with electronic and mechanical data seen in my Institute LOL. We all make mistakes!

Small blessings, I suppose, as your error prevented you from sidestepping your chain of command. That could have been quite awkward for you.

I defer to you as the de facto expert on the incident at hand - How would you categorize the quality of the writings in question?  
-Elias

* * *

Elias,  
Again. These are explicit works. That was the whole point of my initial email. If one were to believe these stories, they would come away with the impression that the founder of the Magnus Institute was a laudanum smoking, freewheeling sex addict with a penchant for spankings.

Do you understand why this is harmful to our image?

JON

* * *

Jonathon,

Laudanum is not a smoked substance if memory serves. But it has been a while since I studied the Regency period. I would agree that such a historical inaccuracy would be humiliating to the Institute's image.

Please direct me toward which fic contains the error so that I may reach out to the author.  
-E. B.

* * *

Elias,  
I DON'T KNOW HOW LAUDANUM WAS USED, I was making an EXAMPLE.

You know what? Forget it. I'll figure out how to contact the "author" myself.

JUST JON

* * *

My dear friend and Archivist-

Please stop by my office at your convenience. I am increasingly worried about the tone of your emails. I want you to know that there is behavioral assistance available to all members of our team here at the Magnus Institute.

Did you leave kudos, by the way?

Yours,

Elias Bouchard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to the [Simp-bot](https://twitter.com/simpbot11) server for continuously encouraging this AU, particularly Balsam here for saying the magic words _"time travel"_ ... 👀

Rating: | Explicit  
---|---  
**Archive Warning :** | **No Archive Warnings Apply**  
Category: | M/M  
Fandoms: |  Jonah Magnus - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, The Magnus Institute (Academia RPF)  
Relationship: | Elias Bouchard/Jonah Magnus  
Characters: |  Jonah Magnus, Elias Bouchard  
Additional Tags: |  Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Supernatural Elements, Hero Worship, Love at First Sight, Daddy Kink, Bottom Elias Bouchard, No Refractory Period  
Language: | English  
Stats: | Published: 2016-08-09 Words: 2169 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 2 Kudos: 24 Bookmarks: 2 Hits: 170  
  
## in your eyes

SecretScotsman1818

### Summary:

> A bizarre book causes the current head of the Magnus Institute and its founder to meet.

### Notes:

> For TheBiAceIncident.

Elias Bouchard didn’t make mistakes—but he knew a thing or two about happy accidents.

When the public became aware of Leitner tomes as a result of files having been leaked to the press in 1999, most people lacked the intelligence and the experience with the paranormal needed to grasp just how life-altering a book could be. Of course, Elias Bouchard, Head of the Magnus Institute, possessed both intelligence and experience in spades, and it was those traits that buoyed him above the derision of the common crowd.

Elias Bouchard had personally witnessed many a story start (and end, for that matter) with a Leitner, and it was by his wits that he had survived their effects. As an example: one did not simply escape the jaws of a giant spider by stupid luck alone.

But even with all his experience, Elias Bouchard never would have anticipated what the latest book to come into the Institute for supernatural artifact storage would unleash.

Elias sat at his desk, gloved and carefully cataloguing the contents of a newly acquired Leitner. It bore no text, but rather pages of portraits where the eyes appeared to track the beholder. Periodically Elias would pause, struck by the intense burning sensation that there was something beyond the confines of the book watching him.

“Excuse me,” came a deep Scottish brogue from across Elias’s office, at a point when he had resumed working.

Elias snapped to attention. He should have been alone in the Institute by this time in the evening. His jaw dropped in astonishment. The painting on his wall of Jonah Magnus, Institute Founder, was empty save for a dark mottled background.

And in front of it stood a very flesh-and-blood Jonah Magnus.

He was only a couple inches taller than Elias, and similarly fit. Contrasted with modern styles, Jonah’s cream-colored breeches tucked inside black Hessian boots highlighted every curve and line on his lower body. His cravat was a snowy white, touchable soft silk bursting from the verdant tailcoat which complemented golden red curls.

Elias swallowed, stepping to one side of his desk. “You’re Jonah Magnus,” he murmured, hushed and reverent.

Jonah stalked toward Elias, head bowed and eyes boring into his. Although both sets were green, they could not be said to be a mirror; Jonah’s were darkened but warm, almost hazel, whereas Elias’s held only preternaturally cool tones. When Elias instinctively took one step back, Jonah raised his palm in a soothing gesture. “And am I to understand that you are the current Head of my Institute?” Jonah asked gently.

Elias nodded. Now he stayed in place to allow Jonah to draw close, and he did not flinch when Jonah stroked his cheek with the backs of his fingers. His touch was chilly but tingled pleasantly, and without thinking, Elias turned his face to nose Jonah’s knuckles. His lids dropped slightly.

“Then you are as my brother,” Jonah swore, “and have nothing to fear from me.

“Although I must say … I never expected you to be so beautiful.”

A sharp gasp escaped Elias’s lips when Jonah insinuated his thigh between

* * *

> _“NO,”_ Jon declared to an empty room, as he slammed his laptop shut. _“That’s ENOUGH._
> 
> **“Who would ever _read_ this garbage?!”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	3. (Un-)Constructive Criticism

Elias wasn’t surprised when Jon stormed into his office and thrust the printouts toward him across his desk, but he did a decent job pretending.

“Why, Jon,” he said, sitting upright. “What on earth is this about?”

“Read it,” Jon growled low. “Read that—that _‘fan-fiction,’_ and then try to tell me that this isn’t something that the Institute needs to publicly denounce, at _least!”_

Elias picked up the small packet of papers and tapped it against his desk to straighten the edges.

He did so longer than _strictly_ necessary.

Jon seethed.

Elias transferred the sheets to one hand, then started searching the top drawer of his desk for a pair of wire-rimmed reading glasses that he did not _strictly_ need. He made a pleased sound when he found them and slid them onto his face.

Jon’s fingers twitched by his sides.

“All right,” Elias said smoothly, “let’s see what we have here.” He scanned the first page. “Oh!” he exclaimed, comprehension appearing to be dawning. “Oh, my …”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” Jon snapped. “This is entirely inappropriate!”

Elias hummed in agreement. “Jon,” he admonished, “this is quite egregious, at least so far as my understanding goes.” Elias pushed his glasses back up his nose, his eyes flickering down the top sheet. “It is generally considered poor etiquette to forward this sort of ‘real person fiction’ to the subject.”

“What— Are you serious??” Jon choked, the pitch of his voice rising.

Elias chuckled absently, turning to the next page. “Although I must admit,” he said, “this is rather flattering …”

“It’s sick, that’s what it is!” Jon threw back. “Some online pervert is out in the world writing impossible sex acts, involving real people who cannot or have not consented to having their image used, for them to— for their indulgent fantasies!”

Elias raised his head and pursed his lips. “None of these acts strike me as impossible.”

Jon kept talking as if he had not heard. “This is— _this is a Harlequin Romance reject with nothing to offer but purple prose and self-projection on the part of the author!”_

“What makes you say it’s too purple?” Elias glanced down again, narrowing his eyes as he flipped back through the pages. “I understand that the description of Jonah Magnus is flowery, but that’s fairly standard for a Regency—”

Jon flailed. “Am I losing my mind??” he asked. “Who’s next, Elias? Someone is writing _pornography_ about Institute staff, am I supposed to just wait for them to possibly victimize me next?”

“Jon,” Elias said with a snort, “this person is clearly interested in historical figures. They are not going to write a fic about you.”

“Do you see that byline at the top??” Jon raved. “‘For TheBiAceIncident’? That’s the account I made to try to track this person down! That is essentially a threat, them letting me know that they know who I am!”

Elias set the pages facedown on his desk. “Well,” he said, “there’s a simple enough explanation for that. You’ve been consuming this person’s work. If you’re leaving ‘kudos’—those are basically the same thing as ‘likes,’ by the way—”

_“I KNOW WHAT A KUDOS IS.”_

“—then this person probably noticed your name on their page multiple times and decided to create a little thank-you for you.”

“I didn’t leave any kudos on this person’s page!!” Jon shouted.

Elias sniffed. “Imagine that,” he said airily.

“This person is stalking me!” Jon ranted on.

“Jon,” Elias said with a smirk, “you’re not becoming _paranoid,_ are you?”

Jon glowered but said nothing.

“Let me ask you something,” Elias said, “are you looking at this website at work?”

Jon tensed. “I am investigating for work-related reasons,” he said.

“I’m not saying you’d be in any kind of trouble,” Elias said gently. “I’m only saying that if you accessed the site through a work computer, then it would probably not be very difficult to locate your account.”

Jon stared. “You’re saying,” he said, the metaphorical lightbulb glowing in and out, “that this is somebody in the archives.”

“No,” Elias said quickly, “I’m saying it could be someone from an Institute department.”

Jon turned swiftly, and marched out of the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	4. Chapter 4

from: |  **J. Sims** <josims@the-magnus-institute.org.uk>  
---|---  
to: | Tim Stoker <tistoker@the-magnus-institute.org.uk>  
date: | 10-08-2016 15:44:03  
subject: | Inappropriate online behavior  
body: |   
  
Mr. Stoker:

Recently I uncovered an online profile where the user is writing “real person fan fiction” about Jonah Magnus and his various colleagues.

I am sure I do not need to tell you where I found the profile.

Is there anything you would like to say before facing possible disciplinary action pursuant to investigation?

Regards,

Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute

\--  
Jonathan Sims | Head Archivist | josims@the-magnus-institute.org.uk  
The Magnus Institute ● London ● SW1W 9TQ  
https://www.the-magnus-institute.org.uk/

_The content of this message is confidential. If you have received it by mistake, please inform us by an email reply and then delete the message. It is forbidden to copy, forward, or in any way reveal the contents of this message to anyone. The integrity and security of this email cannot be guaranteed over the Internet. Therefore, the sender will not be held liable for any damage caused by the message._

* * *

MR. SIMS,

Yes, I have something to say: When did you find the time to do this around standing outside my house?

TS

* * *

Mr. Stoker:

The stories I found online depict graphic sex acts. Is that funny to you?

Jonathan Sims

* * *

MASTER SIMS, ESQUIRE:

Yes.

TS

* * *

Mr. Stoker:

Am I to understand that it is your official statement that you are not behind the user profile in question?

Jonathan Sims

* * *

Marquis de Sims:

Stop emailing me. I am literally right outside your office.

Also, I need to know where that website is. For reasons.

TS

* * *

Mr. Stoker:

I see that you believe I may be bluffing about having the website information. Very well, we’ll play it your way. Here it is:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretScotsman1818

What do you have to say for yourself now?

Jonathan Sims

* * *

That if you need me, I’ll be doing dramatic readings for the rest of the night.

Thank you for this, boss.

T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	5. Supplemental

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still dedicated as always to the [Simp-bot](https://twitter.com/simpbot11) (pro-dark, pro-ship) server!

_Click._

“Supplemental.

“The search to determine who is posting filth about the Founder of the Institute, Jonah Magnus, online has yet to uncover anything useful. Tim is still my primary suspect, obviously; if nothing else, his general personality and his propensity for pranks would point to it. I was hoping to trip him up into confessing, but the truth of the matter is I do not possess the tech knowledge needed to track someone online so this was admittedly a miscalculation on my part. I probably should have held my focus on him nearer to my chest until I could devise a concrete strategy for investigating.

“Sasha is good with computers, but it ought to go without saying that I cannot go to her to help me with this. She is far too friendly with Tim, not to mention that—as ridiculous as it sounds—I cannot dismiss her outright as a suspect as well. At the very least, her association with Tim would indicate that he has had plenty of opportunity to be a negative influence on her. I cannot make the mistake of writing off Martin, either. If it is intended in earnest, then the purple prose style typical of ‘SecretScotsman1818’ would certainly betray the sort of personality to write … poetry. Ugh.

“I did go back to Elias to demand that he look into this using the IT skills at his disposal as Head of the Institute, but he immediately blew me off. This is extremely unfair seeing as how when Tim changed all the work computer desktops to that picture of Elias that he took of himself for Peter Lukas, Elias instantly knew who did it—so I can safely assume that he is tech-savvy at least when it comes to things that happened on a work computer, which may or may not be the case here but should be treated as a possibility.

“Elias has always conducted himself in a professional manner when it comes to representing the Institute, and this clearly flies in the face of that. Therefore I can only reach the logical conclusion that this is an organized effort by Elias and my colleagues to gaslight me, thus discrediting my other investigations by making me appear more ‘paranoid.’ This whole fan fiction thing might seem minor in the grand scheme, but it is ultimately one more straw to break the camel’s back, so to speak.

“I don’t have much to add. Since I don’t actually possess the ability to hack into SecretScotsman1818’s account, I will have to go about this much differently than would be ideal. I am going to have to reach out to certain relevant online communities and plead my case for assistance. I am not thrilled about the idea of placing so much trust in strangers, but as of this current point in time my reputation is in danger should the perpetrator of this fiction target me next, and so I must use whatever tools may be available to me to protect myself. All I know is, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

“End supplement.”

_Click._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


End file.
